Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD God is the eternal rock. Isaiah 26:4
The night our beautiful daughter went to her heavenly home all we could do was sit on her bedroom floor and hold on to her belongings, her scents, and her presence. Through the unimaginable pain and tears we fingered through a newly discovered prayer journal. We couldn't help but believe that the scriptures that spoke to her heart and through her pen were inspired by the Holy Spirit. The echoing theme revolved around trust. God allowed that golden nugget to stay with us. HE knew how hard it would be for us to trust HIM through the pain, the unknowns and the fears. The amount of fear that hovers over tragedy, calamity and struggles is so gripping it cripples your most inner being. HE knew how hard it would be for us to trust HIM with LIFE when life had just been shattered.
"How can I trust in God when he let me down?" "How could a loving God hold out his arms and not catch me?" These questions taunted the mind like an echo that wouldn't quit. In the stillness a whisper came from within ... "If you make me small enough for your mind I won't be big enough for you!" There was no way that I could understand the all knowing, all powerful God, so I had to let go of the taunting whispers of doubt and fear. "Lord, help me to let my thoughts be your thoughts, help me to TRUST."
Isaiah 55:8-9
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Through the journey of learning to TRUST I discovered LOVE. A deepening love for Christ that I had not known before. I looked to the cross and it meant something so much more. I never took it for granted again. The cross became real!! Our daughter lives because Christ conquered death. Our son lives because Christ conquered death.Jesus Christ won!
The LOVE for Jesus slowly stitched and mended my broken heart.
In the mending process my love for Jesus grew richer, purer and deeper.
I also realized that when my life was in a neat little box and all was well,
I loved HIM and my life equally. Unaware, I loved them the same.
After losing our daughter my heart was shattered and torn to the point of physical agony.
In the midst of this brokenness all I could do was cling to HIM.
At HIS feet, HE began to mend me by filling me with HIM.
More of HIM and less of me...less of my family,
less of my children, less of my plans and desires.
As, time went on, I realized that I loved Jesus more than I ever had before.
At HIS feet HE fully and truly filled me.
Apart from HIM I can do nothing and that includes loving HIM.
Trusting God with our daughter who is safe in HIS arms in heaven is easier for me than trusting HIM with our son who is living in the world where there is pain, sorrow and suffering. We do not know what tomorrow brings. I will never fully understand life on this side of eternity, but I hold on to HIS promise For God so loved the world...
I know that Jesus loves me and gave himself up for me.
Because of HIS love for the world, HE held himself to the cross.
We have a God who promised us an eternity with HIM.
We have a Savior who LOVES us and we have a Savior we can TRUST!
HIS LOVE is the anchor of my heart that allows me to TRUST. The words penned by our daughter were for us to remember that LIFE will be hard. Each day will have it's challenges and that trusting is a daily dance with our SAVIOR.
Psalm 56 3-4
But when I am afraid,
I will put my trust in you.
I praise God for what he has promised.
I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?
Psalm 56:8
In the mending process my love for Jesus grew richer, purer and deeper.
I also realized that when my life was in a neat little box and all was well,
I loved HIM and my life equally. Unaware, I loved them the same.
After losing our daughter my heart was shattered and torn to the point of physical agony.
In the midst of this brokenness all I could do was cling to HIM.
At HIS feet, HE began to mend me by filling me with HIM.
More of HIM and less of me...less of my family,
less of my children, less of my plans and desires.
As, time went on, I realized that I loved Jesus more than I ever had before.
At HIS feet HE fully and truly filled me.
Apart from HIM I can do nothing and that includes loving HIM.
Trusting God with our daughter who is safe in HIS arms in heaven is easier for me than trusting HIM with our son who is living in the world where there is pain, sorrow and suffering. We do not know what tomorrow brings. I will never fully understand life on this side of eternity, but I hold on to HIS promise For God so loved the world...
I know that Jesus loves me and gave himself up for me.
Because of HIS love for the world, HE held himself to the cross.
We have a God who promised us an eternity with HIM.
We have a Savior who LOVES us and we have a Savior we can TRUST!
HIS LOVE is the anchor of my heart that allows me to TRUST. The words penned by our daughter were for us to remember that LIFE will be hard. Each day will have it's challenges and that trusting is a daily dance with our SAVIOR.
Psalm 56 3-4
But when I am afraid,
I will put my trust in you.
I praise God for what he has promised.
I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?
Psalm 56:8
You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
Revelation 21:4
He will wipe every tear from their eyes,
and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain.
All these things are gone forever."
~2RJL
Stina shared this song with me a couple week before her car accident.
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